It’s been a long time since I went to yoga.
And by a long time I mean, about 8 months.
It started off with the shoulder injury, I couldn’t “yoga” while it was hurt (but I tried.)
Then it was the house purchase and all my time was taken up with that.
Then it was school – I started taking 12 hours of class (instead of the 9 I had been taking) and it was kicking my butt.
So yoga just fell further and further by the way side.
Now, I’m 20 pounds heavier and I’m afraid to go back.
Since I left, the studio has moved into a new facility and I will be completely “new” all over again.
It was hard enough to for me to walk in that door the first time.
I’m afraid of walking in it for the second time.
I’m embarrassed at being gone so long.
I’m embarrassed at having gained 20 pounds of weight back.
I’m embarrassed that I can barely bend over, much less do a chatarunga.
It’s that fear and embarrassment that is keeping me mired in my misery.
I keep telling myself, “This is the night! This is the night I go back.”
And then I find yet another excuse to stay home.
Maybe this is the week it happens.
In the meantime, the fear and embarrassment is killing me.