You see….If someone else is in the stall next too me I can’t pee until they do.
I don’t know why, I just can’t.
So there I hovered…wait…waiting… and suddenly I wondered “What if SHE has the same hang up?” then we were both screwed.
Just as my legs started to tremble and my bladder started to grumble she finally let loose a torrent!
I mean seriously….it was like listening to a race horse take a piss.
Had this woman binged on iced tea and water but not pee’d in 4 days or something ?!?
Dear lord, I’m surprised she wasn’t getting splash back by the sounds of that downpour.
On the bright side, my little tinkle now went completely unnoticed and my bladder thanked me in relief.
I was even out of the stall, hands washed and outer door open before that other chick even flushed.

WOW!

In other news, I bought a new bra on Amazon.
After much research I decided to purchase a “soft shoulder, back support, front closure” bra by Glamorise.
It had great reviews AND it was only $13.  How can you beat that?
Let me tell you something people….if EVER you pictured what an “Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder” looked like THIS IS IT!!

This thing could support the boobs of the Statue of Liberty!
I feel like a turkey trussed up for Thanksgiving.

On the plus side….my boobs are actually up high where they should be!
On the down side, it’s a front closure and the “uniboob” is a creeping inevitability.

On the plus side…my back really does seem to feel better.
On the down side, their idea of  “shoulder padding” and my idea of shoulder padding obviously differ greatly.

On the plus side, it was only $13.
On the down side, I think I need to go up a cup size and by doing that the bra suddenly becomes $40 instead of $13 (how the hell does that work??)

Oh, and this sucker is great for in the winter because you are completely covered up but there’s no way you can wear it in the summer.
People would wonder why the hell you were wearing a back brace under your clothes. *snort*.

One more thing,  this sucker has 10 hooks to close it. TEN!!
Can you imagine that?  ha..ha.ha…

In other news, I dropped my Principles of Accounting class.
I finished the first Chapter assignments and was reading Chapter 2 when I realized A) it really doesn’t make any sense to me and B) I don’t even think I WANT to be an accountant.
Since it was the last day I could drop the class and still get a 100% refund (after that day it dropped to 50%!) I decided to go ahead and bite the bullet.
The thing is, I had emailed my professor several times already and she never bothered to respond.
I even sent an email explaining why I was dropping and how I hoped to take her class in person next semester.
She never even gave me a “Thanks for telling me” response.
So screw her and screw Accounting.

The truth is, I’m more drawn to English…specifically Creative Writing. ( When I told Mr. AP that I wanted to go this direction he was thrilled. He knows how much I love to write)
I am LOVING my Comp I class and I’m even enjoying my World Lit class.
Granted, who wouldn’t love reading a story called “Nipple Jesus”?  ha.ha..
I am definitely more of a Business Administration person with a Creative Writing  bent.

Let’s see how that works out for me.
On the plus side, I *still* needed to take Business Calculus for the Business degree so I don’t feel like I’m taking a wasted class. Yay!

Work still sucks but at least it’s calmed down a little.  There has been less yelling at me and more yelling at other people. Yay me!
I’m still looking for a new job but it is a slow and arduous process. Especially given my desire for a specific place of employment.
All I can do is continue to plod along here and keep my head down.
Every once in a while there is a bright spot. Certain things that I get to research/follow through on that makes me remember how much I love my work (just not my employer).
Those moments also help with my resolution to change my College direction.
HA!!   40 (soon to be 41) and I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
How the heck can we expect 19 year olds to know?!?!

On the home front, Mr. AP has declared Rescue Dog to be …. “a tiny little angry GOD”.
Ha..ha.ha.. She is used to getting her way and when she doesn’t she gets very angry and vocal until she DOES get her way!
Her leg infection has cleared up and is healing nicely. The duct taped sock was a success.
Now if I could just get her to stop eating the cat poop.  UGH.
Nothing worse than getting a whiff of kitty litter in the face. *gag*
No! No! No! Those are *not* doggie treats!!!!!!

Well, that is, until Squeaker decides to sleep on me.
Explain me me exactly HOW a little 8lb ball of fluff can put out enough heat to make me go into stroke?
She likes to curl up on my stomach or the crook of my arm.
I’m usually asleep when she does it.
The first indication that she has taken up residence is my dreams.

Suddenly I’m bound and trussed like a holiday turkey and the natives are chanting wildly.
I’m sweating profusely as I realize I’m about to become the main course of an ancient volcano God!

About that time I’ll wake up to find myself drenched in sweat and on the verge of heat stroke.
As I move about I find a fluff ball on top of me emitting enough heat to warm a Tri-state area.
How the heck does she put out that much heat?!?!?!?!

Add her Kitty Torch like abilities to my already warm and toasty electric blanket and you’ve got the makings of a S’mores marshmallow roasting fire.

And boy howdy does she squall when I push her off.

It doesn’t really matter though.
Like the little kitty ninja she is, she waits until I’m asleep and the whole process starts over again.

I had to take little rescue dog to the vet last Friday.
She had gnawed on her surgery site until it was infected.
Now she is on antibiotics and we have a sock duct taped to her leg.
It’s actually a funny sight! I know I shouldn’t laugh but when she hikes that leg up because it feels weird, I can’t help but chuckle.
Other than that, Rescue Dog has settled in nicely with our family.
Catfish is thrilled to have someone to chew on and play with.
Generic Yellow Dog #2 is thrilled that Catfish is no longer chewing on him!

The downside to the Small, Medium and Large dog family is that they all want to sleep on the bed with myself and Mr. AP.
What this translates into is GYD#2 at Mr. AP’s feet, causing him to curl up into a fetal ball.
Catfish likes to sleep either ON my lower legs or between my legs with her head resting on my stomach.
RD likes to stretch across my chest and put her nose up under my ear.
Oh, and let’s not forget that Squeaker is usually tucked up on my shoulder until RD pushes her around and Squeaks leaves with squalling protest (and then probable goes and pees in the tub!)
Needless to say, it’s a bit crowded on our Queen sized bed. *snort*

On weekend mornings, the bed becomes a war zone.
RD and Catfish begin fighting while standing on top of us and GYD#2 is trying to stretch out between us for some lovin’.
RD will try and put the “paw of oppression” on everyone’s face and Catfish will try and poison us with her foul breath.
At some point, Mr. AP and I just look at each other and laugh.
The expression we use the most is “This is what our life has become” but we are both happy with that statement.

Business Calculus
Principals of Accounting I
World Literature
Composition II

Honestly, the World Lit and Comp class are going to be fun!
I mean really…my first reading assignment in World Lit is a story called “Nipple Jesus” and we were warned it might be considered offensive.
THAT IS AWESOME! ha..ha.ha…

Comp II is with the same instructor as Comp I last semester and she is great, so no worries there.

Business Calculus.  Ugh… the FINAL math class I have to take before I can declare my degree program.
A necessary evil.
At least it is using the same system as my Algebra class last semester.
So I’m a step ahead already.

Principals of Accounting I.
I figured..hey…why not?  I’ve been doing accounting for companies the last 12 years.
How hard can it be?
Oh my GAWD!!!
Just the first chapter and I’m already thinking I can’t handle it.
Oh sure, I’ve been using Quickbooks and Quicken for years, but the base mechanics behind all the numbers has never been explained to me.
I thought I had a good base understanding.
I was way wrong!

Doing this stuff by hand is a BEEYOTCH.

Not only that, it’s confusing as all hell.

I’m thinking this may be one of those classes I need to actually take in person and not online.
The instructor doesn’t have videos up like my math classes.
There was one. One video!  And that actually helped me immensely.
But after that, I’m on my own.
I hate the idea of dropping the class.  That reeks of failure to me.
But I’m trying to tell myself that it’s not failure, it’s simply accepting that I need a face-to-face class for this subject.

I’m going to give it another week or two and see how I do.
All I know is that I’ve spent more time on this class for the first assignment than any other EVER! (and I still missed a lot!)

…blargh….