Potty break

Do you suffer from public potty anxiety?
I do.
Take, for example, last night at trivia.
I walked into the restroom and another woman was hot on my heels.
Your first dilemma is immediate!
There are only two stalls….the large, cozy handicap stall and the tiny, have to stand on the toilet to close the door stall.
Which one do you take?
In a magnanimous move on my part I chose the teeny stall.
Then comes the moment when you are both hovering 2 feet over the toilet and waiting for the other person to start peeing.

You see….If someone else is in the stall next too me I can’t pee until they do.
I don’t know why, I just can’t.
So there I hovered…wait…waiting… and suddenly I wondered “What if SHE has the same hang up?” then we were both screwed.
Just as my legs started to tremble and my bladder started to grumble she finally let loose a torrent!
I mean seriously….it was like listening to a race horse take a piss.
Had this woman binged on iced tea and water but not pee’d in 4 days or something ?!?
Dear lord, I’m surprised she wasn’t getting splash back by the sounds of that downpour.
On the bright side, my little tinkle now went completely unnoticed and my bladder thanked me in relief.
I was even out of the stall, hands washed and outer door open before that other chick even flushed.

WOW!

 

In other news, I bought a new bra on Amazon.
After much research I decided to purchase a “soft shoulder, back support, front closure” bra by Glamorise.
It had great reviews AND it was only $13.  How can you beat that?
Let me tell you something people….if EVER you pictured what an “Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder” looked like THIS IS IT!!

This thing could support the boobs of the Statue of Liberty!
I feel like a turkey trussed up for Thanksgiving.

On the plus side….my boobs are actually up high where they should be!
On the down side, it’s a front closure and the “uniboob” is a creeping inevitability.

On the plus side…my back really does seem to feel better.
On the down side, their idea of  “shoulder padding” and my idea of shoulder padding obviously differ greatly.

On the plus side, it was only $13.
On the down side, I think I need to go up a cup size and by doing that the bra suddenly becomes $40 instead of $13 (how the hell does that work??)

Oh, and this sucker is great for in the winter because you are completely covered up but there’s no way you can wear it in the summer.
People would wonder why the hell you were wearing a back brace under your clothes. *snort*.

One more thing,  this sucker has 10 hooks to close it. TEN!!
Can you imagine that?  ha..ha.ha…

 

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